just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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