she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
I'm sitting next to this guy at the bar. I wrote him a little song in my head it goes "there is no fucking chance you're getting in my pants" gonna sing it to him after he buys me another drink.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
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