How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Randomize
