she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
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