you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Randomize
