do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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