Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Randomize
