He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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