Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
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