she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Randomize
