If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
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I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
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Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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