Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
is this the sara with the beer cane?
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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