So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
