when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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