i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
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