i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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