Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
