I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
