i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
Randomize
