I think my fart just growled at me.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
Randomize
