The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize
