Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
