he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
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