Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Randomize
