it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
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