i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
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