alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
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