Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
