I just threw up on my dentist
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Dick very happy bro
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize