I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
He literally asked permission to hit on me
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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