Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
