i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Randomize