You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Randomize
