suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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