I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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