You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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