I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
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