Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
Randomize
