he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
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