no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Randomize
