I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize