...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
we made out on top of his cat.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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