i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Come on in and take your pants off
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