i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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