he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
She even gives head with a lisp.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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