just come out here and I will go home with you...
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Randomize
