; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
Randomize
