Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
