so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Randomize
