We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
Randomize