No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
