Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
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