This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
