i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
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