Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Randomize
