Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
should my penis look like a turkey
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
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